“Young people say, ‘What is the sense of our small effort?’ They cannot see that we must lay one brick at at time, take one step at a time; we can be responsible only for the one action in the present moment. But we can beg for an increase of love in our hearts that will vitalize and transform all our individual actions, and know that God will take them and multiply them, as Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes.”—Dorothy Day
Please do for my heart what coffee does for my brain.
Thanks for loving me very much. I love you too, I do.
I beseech this of You tonight because I am at the end of my ability to feel passion for working hard. Unfortunately or fortunately, I’ve invested my love in people, and I feel that’s what I want my story to be about; yet, I feel like law school does not provide that story for me. To thrive as a character in the law school story-setting, my aim has to be success and knowledge. I know that I need knowledge and training in order to advocate for people, but sometimes the work I am doing night after night just seems so tangential to the direct care of people.
I beseech this of You tonight because I am so consumed with my work and what I have to do and think about next that I don’t make eye contact with people I pass by anymore, let alone give them a sincere smile.
I beseech this of You tonight because I don’t feel anything but heaviness, difficulty, and looming failure. Somewhere deep in my heart, I know that the ultimate success is failure, but for some reason, I cannot take another step. My actions are falling behind my heart’s vision, and this disconnect is eating away at who I am.
I beseech this of You tonight because I am not okay. Even as I step out of my skin to evaluate myself, I can tell that I am not okay. And I think that is all I want, is to be okay, at least to be okay enough to trust that this hard work will one day help me in the rest of the journey of humanity — to be there for a lonely soul, to feed a hungry stomach…to do something for someone.
I beseech this of You tonight, because I may be a punk, but please don’t give up on me.