One of my friends found out she had lung cancer after scans revealed nodules on her lungs when she went to see the doctor for pneumonia. I am the only person she has told — she refuses to tell anyone because she doesn’t want to be treated any differently by her peers and professors. Life has been a lot harder for her because of her illness: getting her neverending pile of law school assignments done despite her spiraling depression and fatigue; feeling like she could never get out of bed — she says even coffee no longer helps.
She tells me that the hardest thing is giving herself the permission to fail but not to give up. Sure, she couldn’t study for her midterms and she had to drop a class because of her circumstances, but she likes being tested in patience. Unreal. I guess she has always fascinated me precisely because she is so formidable. I guess circumstances in life outside of our control tend to harden us more than we would like.
I guess we will wait this one out together — to see what exactly will prove to be the force that holds her through. Here’s to hoping the biopsy results are benign.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones.”
Prov. 3 (she tells me that Proverbs had never been more real to her before)